The Medicine Way

Science & Spirituality

Contact

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  • Why Doing More is Bringing You Nowhere

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    The world rests on your shoulders.

    I know you can feel the pressure every waking hour of every single day.

    Where you are right now, you refuse to stay there because this is not where you are meant to be.

    You are meant for bigger and better things.

    You are going to get those things no matter the cost. You are strong, and you understand that winning is only for the strong, never for the weak.

    So you hustle your ass off, day in and day out.

    But…

    Nothing seems to be happening.

    You look back at the past year and note all the things you have been doing, doing, doing, but it seems like nothing actually got done.

    You are still living in the same shitty apartment. Your income has not improved. Your business ideas haven’t made a single dollar. Obviously, you are doing something wrong.

    There is a key principle here that you’re missing.

    Alignment of The Mind

    You are more than just your body.

    You are also a Mind.

    The Kybalion states in its First Principle: “THE ALL IS MIND; The Universe is Mental”

    The Operators of The Matrix would like to have you believe that everything on this physical plane is governed strictly by physical phenomenon.

    If you truly believe this then you are truly asleep.

    Your Mind has the capacity to move mountains.

    Adolf Hitler, regardless what you think about him, understood this Principle. This is how he managed to massacre millions of people and make the world shake in fear.

    Mahatma Gandhi, also understood this Principle. This is how he made the world’s largest empire give up one of its most profitable colonies, providing Independence to India.

    What both of these men had in common is an unshakable commitment to one singular path. All of their mental faculties were focused, ALIGNED, into one goal. Everything else was tossed to the wind.

    I know what you are thinking.

    “But I have been committing myself! Don’t you understand how much I have sacrificed? I have been working everyday towards this goal, what more focus do you need?”

    Let me provide you with an analogy so you can understand.

    Target Practice

    A sniper has a target.

    The sniper’s goal is to use the rifle to launch a bullet through the air that will strike at that precise target.

    In order to do this, several things must be aligned.

    The barrel needs to be perfectly manufactured to launch the bullet onto a straight path.

    The rifle’s scope must be adjusted perfectly to align with the trajectory of the barrel.

    The sniper’s eye must be in alignment with the reticle in the scope.

    The sniper’s breath must be aligned to pull the trigger at the end of exhalation.

    The wind must be aligned with the trajectory which the sniper chooses for the bullet.

    Once all these aspects are aligned, the bullet will cut through the air and reach its target with ease.

    Pretend that your mind is a rifle. You are the sniper.

    God gave you a rifle with all its components in perfect alignment.

    You, the sniper, want to hit target X.

    As you lie down to take aim you get the target in your sights. But then, you start to become afraid that you might not hit the target so you keep messing with the scope. Adjusting it this way and adjusting it that way. Your FEAR told you that God is not perfect. You think that the way you adjusted it now must be better. You pull the trigger and miss, now you have sinned.

    Sin, is an archery term that means “to miss the target”.

    You curse yourself for it and take aim again. This time, you put the scope back to its original adjustment. You have the target in your sights, perfect. You will definitely hit it now. You get excited at the IDEA of hitting the target, and your breathing becomes rapid. In your excitement, you rush to pull the trigger and end up pulling at the beginning of an inhale, BOOM, you missed again.

    You think, “I must not be meant for this”. But your determination prevents you from quitting. So you lie back down to take aim again. Target in your sights, your scope is aligned, your barrel is straight, you calm down and take a deep breath…exhale…BOOM. The bullet lands to the left of the target. Fuck!!!

    You look up at the trees and see the canopy swaying to the left. You failed to take into consideration the environment around you and you missed again.

    Now you start to wonder. Why am I shooting at this target? Who told me that this is the target I am supposed to hit?

    Good questions indeed.

    Aligning Soul With Mind and Body

    You are more than just your physical body.

    You are more than just a Mind.

    YOU, are a Soul, inhabiting a Body, using a Mind to operate it.

    The Soul decided to incarnate into this plane in order to carry out a PURPOSE.

    That purpose is your TARGET.

    The more the Soul is awakened. The more it will exert influence in your life and demand to be heard.

    The Soul does not care what the Body wants.

    The Soul does not care what the Mind wants.

    The Soul only cares about hitting ITS target.

    Realize that Your Soul is the Piece of God that resides within you.

    Your radio comm has headquarters chiming in about what target you MUST hit next. These are the Operators of The Matrix. Ignore Them.

    Turn your radio off and listen to what your Soul has to say.

    It may not say anything right now. That’s okay. Wait…

    Scan the field with your scope…

    You may be there for days, months, or years, that’s okay. The Soul runs on its own Divine Timing. Keep scanning the field.

    It will hit you like a lightning bolt. “Target Acquired!” your Soul screams out to you.

    This is where Perfection Exists.

    You will pull out that rifle and lay the barrel down. Put your eye behind the scope and place the target within your reticle. You rotate the power ring one quarter counter-clockwise, note the wind blowing to the right and adjust the windage turret appropriately. You lock sights with the target, exhale, pull. BOOM.

    You did it. You hit the target. You barely had to think about it. You simply executed.

    When Your Soul, Mind, and Body are in alignment towards the same goal. There is no way you can miss.

    Why Do We Operate From Misalignment?

    The Soul always knows what it wants. Sometimes its takes time for the Mind and Body to catch up and align themselves with the Soul.

    During these periods of misalignment we may feel as if we are lacking, confused, or downright incompetent.

    So we just continue to take aim and shoot any pretty looking target that comes across our way.

    Why? Because we must keep shooting. If we don’t keep shooting then we are not trying hard enough and everyone around us including ourselves will think we are a failure, or worst yet just a lazy piece of trash.

    Sometimes we hit these targets, sometimes we don’t. Regardless, it never brings us any real satisfaction and we begin to question ourselves.

    Sure…doing, action, movement, and hustle have their place. But so does stopping, silence, stillness, and being.

    Simply BEing.

    What does that even mean?

    It means that you Exist.

    It means that you Exude your aura in stillness.

    It means that you Listen.

    These seasons of stillness are demanded whenever you go through major transitions in your life.

    The Dark Night of The Soul. Spiritual Awakenings. Post-Traumatic Recovery.

    These are the moments where stillness has its place.

    Why is stillness needed here? Because this is when ALIGNMENT is demanded of you.

    These are the seasons when change in your Soul is occurring. During change, nothing is aligned, everything in your consciousness is moving to a new place to create an entirely new YOU.

    Trying to “make something happen” in this place of misalignment will only cause more misalignment.

    Your barrel is crooked, your scope is not leveled.

    You will do, do, do, and do some more, but nothing actually got done.

    That success you were chasing never reaches you.

    That result you were looking for never materializes.

    Why? Because a misaligned person can never carry a POTENT INTENTION.

    When misaligned, your intention is backed by only a few aspects of your being. Your fear, your desires, your need for approval, only these aspects will carry that intention, while the rest of you struggles in defiance.

    The Universe only responds to POTENT INTENTION. The type of intention that can only be carried by a person that is FULLY ALIGNED. Mind, Body, AND SOUL.

    Fear is the mark of a misaligned person.

    Faith is the mark of an Aligned person.

    Once you’re aligned, everything you do becomes successful.

    Everything you do becomes fruitful.

    We need to focus less on doing and focus more on being.

    We need to focus less on success and focus more on alignment.

    Then…success is easy.

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  • How Running Became My Source of Strength

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    I started running 8 years ago, along the Bronx River Parkway.

    I remember the first time I ran.

    I was a young college kid trying to figure out my way in this world, stressed out about something, can’t even remember what anymore. Out of impulse I thought to myself, “Go outside and run.”

    So I did.

    I remember that first run. 

    Within less than a mile my lungs were on fire, I struggled to catch my breath and keep running. I stopped but then something told me, “Don’t stop, keep going.”

    So I kept going.

    A few more times I wanted to stop but I felt like I was chasing something. It felt like that something was a thing that could fundamentally change my life forever, and if I stopped now I would never have it. 

    So I kept running.

    As I entered into a steady pace, my mind began to ruminate. There was nothing much else to do now, except put one foot in front of the other, breathe, and think.

    Uncomfortable thoughts. Unprocessed emotions. Began bubbling to the surface. I felt anger. I felt frustration. I felt resentment. I felt sadness.

    So I ran harder.

    Breathing faster. I crossed under a bridge and on the other side the sun hit my face. Suddenly my mind was still, my body was as if it turned on auto-pilot. My soul felt light. All my worries were gone and it was just me, my body, and the ground, operating as one blissful unit flowing through space.

    I stayed there.

    I stayed there until the implications of what I just experienced dawned on me.

    That was one of the most uplifting moments I had experienced in a long time.

    That same day, I went to Footlocker and asked them for a pair of their most affordable running shoes. The saleswoman pointed me to a pair of Black Asics and I was off.

    From that point forward, whenever life got hard, I knew I could count on a solid run to get me through it. Then, even at times when life was going just the way it needed to, a run was always there to give me that edge, or provide an insight that would push me through to the next level. It became ritual catharsis and a source of power for me.

    It became prayer.

    It became meditation.

    It became my sacrifice to The Most High.

    When I tell people, “I run to find God.” They think I’m being funny, but I’m not.

    When I tell people, “I run to Die.” They think I’m being ridiculous, but I’m not.

    I became inspired by the stories and feats of Ultra-Marathon runners such as David Goggins and Chadd Wright running 100+ miles at a time. I could understand where their mentality comes from and admire the energy they exude. This is an energy that I understand only comes from brutal physical hardship. It is an energy that I began to learn to cultivate for myself.

    Through this cultivation I learned the importance of testing your metal in competition against other hardened individuals. At first it was martial arts, then competitive running. Last year I set a goal to complete a marathon by the end of 2024. 

    I am happy to say I have achieved that goal.

    Pocantico Hills Marathon in Sleepy Hollow, NY was completed in 2024 in the 11th month and 9th day. 5 hours with 2,500 ft in elevation gain, she was truly a spicy tamale. 

    Having my wife and daughter at the end to cheer me on was everything to me.

    People have told me for a while now to get rid of my Asics. They tell me it’s bad for my feet, they tell me they stink, they tell me they’re ugly, they tell me they have holes. I laugh and tell them, “Yes, they’re holy.”

    I love my beat-up Asics just the way they are. They brought me all the way here over 8 years of hitting pavement and dirt. But today, I retire them to relic status. They are to be my badge of initiation that I will cherish for as long as they’re with me. 

    As I tied my Asics to hang up I remembered my first run.

    I remembered that sun hitting my face.

    I remembered the fire in my lungs.

    As I held that pair of dusty Black Asics in my hands, I remembered all the struggle I went through with them. 

    I remembered how every single second was worth it.

    I remembered…this is just the beginning.

    Ultra-Marathon. Here I come!

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  • Drugs, Sorcery, and The Medical Renaissance

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    If you look close enough it is not hard to see that the medical establishment is crumbling.

    People have lost faith in the intentions behind this institution.

    Politicians and corporate boards have interceded into the relationship that was one reserved solely for patient and physician.

    Is it by accident, or is it by design?

    If you understand what medicine is, you understand that it is one of the oldest forms of sorcery in existence.

    If you want to maintain power over a group of people, sorcery is a way to do that.

    What is sorcery?

    The term sorcery is commonly used to refer to the practice of obtaining results in the physical world via the use of nonphysical forces, i.e. spirits. The term itself contains the tone of “source.” Therefore, this word means ‘to work from the source.’

    It is the use of nonphysical means, i.e. spirit, the source of the physical, in order to effect change in the physical realm. The first time a human being was compelled to do this must have come about when they or a loved one fell into disease. Or, when they wanted to obtain something important, for which obstacles and difficulties may arise, e.g. hunting for food.

    Medicine and Hunting were the first arenas through which sorcery was used.

    If we go back into the “primitive” mind and senses. The world of nature was a much more lively place than what most modern humans see. The human being was in a constant relationship with plants, animals, and the natural forces around them. These ‘others’ served as the teachers of mankind. We observed how invisible forces acted through each one of these teachers to effect change in the physical world. We observed how each one of these teachers embodied a specific quality of the invisible force. Each one of these teachers then became a physical representation for that specific quality of the invisible force, i.e. spirit. Now you had a bear spirit, a tree spirit, a wind spirit, so on and so forth.

    In order to make use of what that spirit had to offer we figured the best way would be to use the physical components of that spirit. If you want the bear spirit to effect change for you, you need to get a piece of a bear, and different pieces may represent different aspects of that spirit. For example, if you want to fight like a bear, obtain it’s claw. If you want to fly like an eagle, obtain a feather from its wing.

    Then we began experimenting with the consumption of these physical components. We noticed that one of the most profound ways that change was effected in the human body is when something was allowed access into our inner temple via the mouth.

    We noticed how the consumption of plants had some of the most varied and profound effects on the human body. We also noted how the plants had an invisible force quite different than the animated beings of animals. It was older, more wise, more ancient.

    This was the birth of pharmakeus, aka pharmacology.

    The first medicine people were specialists in pharmakeus. Specialists in identifying the physical components needed to cure a disease. They themselves gathered, prepared, and administered the medicine.

    Not only did they administer the medicine to the diseased, but they themselves consumed the medicine beforehand in order to understand it’s spirit and how that spirit could affect a person.

    The medicine person had an extremely intimate relationship with whatever plant, animal, or mineral that became part of their materia medica. These were not simply a plant, an animal, or a mineral. It was an entity with an invisible source attached to it. It was an ally, a friend, a close companion.

    Fast forward to the 21st Century. The medicine person no longer makes their own medicine.

    Medicine making is now relegated to a whole different profession. The Pharmacist.

    In fact, the nature of the medicine has changed completely. Thick brews of plant roots and bark were replaced with syrups of guaifenesin, dextromethorphan, codeine, and glycerol.

    Powdered herbs replaced with crystalline synthetic compounds.

    Drugs made by the Earth were replaced with drugs made in a lab.

    We found the source again. This time in chemistry.

    We figured that now we have become the controllers of the source for we could manufacture any chemical compound you could think of.

    In 1617, The Society of Apothecaries was founded in England. Before this, herbs, prepared medicines, and groceries were all sold together. After this, medicine makers were mandated to sell their products separate from grocers. This was the inception of the druggist, aka the pharmacist.

    Within the next year the Pharmacoepia Londinensis was published and was made the gold standard book of remedies. It contained both herbal and chemical preparations. No one in England was allowed to make or use any drug that was not in this book. This was the inception of government regulated medicine.

    The petrochemical companies realized this medicine making business was ripe for profits. They embarked on a campaign to slander and eradicate anyone who was making medicines that was not in alignment with their chemical process of drug manufacture. They eliminated plants altogether. This was the inception of capitalized medicine.

    Every medicine that we knew of, the plants and herbs we mixed, were labeled inefficacious at best and dangerous at worst. The only real medicine is the chemicals created by multi-million dollar labs. The colonizers had effectively made the whole population dependent on their industry. Now, if you want to be healed, you must go through them. It no longer was a tradition of the people. It became the tradition of big business.

    Meanwhile the modern medicine person, the physician, has been completely divorced from the process of medicine making. The person who is having direct interactions with the sick, lost their expertise over how to make medicine for the sick. How could this be?

    The medicine person is inextricably linked to the medicine they work with. Ask a physician of today to take the same drugs they are prescribing you. Have your phone ready to take a picture of the expression on their face. The physician of today does not compound the drugs they give you and has no expertise on their chemical structure. They were not there when the drug was being synthesized. Very few of them looked into the details of the scientific studies proving the effectiveness of the drug they’re giving you. Regardless, the only studies available would be anything the pharmaceutical company agrees to release. The thousands of failed experiments and adverse effects discovered are never released to the public.

    The division of the medicine person into a physician on one side and a pharmacist on the other side has left the opportunity open for scammers to fill in the gap between.

    Modern sorcery is now in action. Your consent is offered the second you open your mouth and drop the pill inside. They have brain-washed you to the point to think that their way is the only way.

    This is not true, and many are realizing this.

    Herbal medicine is undergoing a revival and will soon approach a Renaissance period as the healthcare industry transforms into the medical system of the future. The corporations have not missed the memo. They have all begun to proudly tout “integrative” “holistic” and other such feel-good terms into their marketing schemes. They will do their very best to colonize herbal medicine to keep it under their control and extract any profits they can. In fact, many of the naturopathic schools in the U.S. have been purchased by pharmaceutical companies. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer; they understand this.

    They have productized the whole industry with herbal “supplements” manufactured into the pill form we are used to, packaged neatly into plastic bottles with stickers. Those under the spell have their cabinets full of these pill bottles and feel good about being “natural.” Yet these same people have never touched any of the plants that serve as their medicine and would never be able to recognize them in their living form. Have never dug a plant out by its roots. Have never plucked the leaves off a stem.

    Nonetheless, there is a saving grace to the whole thing, and that is, Nature Cannot Be Contained. Wherever soil, water, and sun exist, plants may also exist. We don’t need million dollar stainless steel labs to make medicine. The more people realize this, the less profits the pharmaco-medical system will have access to.

    I am not an anti-capitalist, and I do not wish to short circuit the profit of any company. However, I am a humanist and a servant of Mama Gaia. Therefore, I am in a stark opposition to any venture that seeks to place profit over human and/or ecological well-being.

    What I do wish is that we go back to the root.

    The Medicine Man of The Future will be a revival of the Medicine Man of The Past.

    This is The Medical Renaissance.

    Sources:

    1. Dailey, JW. Pharmaceutical Industry. Encyclopaedia Britannica. June 2, 2024. https://www.britannica.com/technology/pharmaceutical-industry
    2. Matthew Wood. A ‘weapon dressed as a book’: the Pharmacopoeia Londinensis. Royal College of Physicians. June 8, 2018.
      https://history.rcplondon.ac.uk/blog/weapon-dressed-book-pharmacopoeia-londinensis

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  • The Call of Nature

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    My hands reached out into the darkness as I stepped off the bed of the pickup truck onto the rocky soil beneath me. Flashlights started to come on, cutting through the backdrop of fireflies and stars that dotted the Land and Sky. Now I could see faces. My cousins, aunts, and uncles organizing themselves and heading down the road into further darkness. I followed them, with the lanterns and sounds of trotting feet guiding the way.

    I awoke the next morning on the wooden floor of an old cabin with a light blanket draped over myself and family members lying with me. There was a brightness peering through the wooden planks that made up the walls of the cabin. Walking carefully over the slumbering bodies on the floor, I tiptoed my way to the cabin door, unlocking the wooden latch. The door swings open, and the most awe-inspiring vision I have ever seen collides with my consciousness.

    Imagine this.

    A luscious green mountain peak wrapped in a dress of thick jungle vegetation, topped with a crown of wild grasses dotted with coconut trees. The face of a steep valley wall to your right decorated with small pathways meandering through fruit trees of mango, soursop, passionfruit, and avocado. The mellow rush of a nearby stream tucked under a dense grove of wizened trees. The dew of the grass beneath your feet, fresh and inviting. This was the vision I witnessed during my first visit to the countryside of the island of Hispañola, my ancestral home. “Nuestro ombligo esta en esa tierra” my mother would say. In that moment I felt that to be true, for I had experienced satiation to a sense of longing that my 8 year young self was not aware had existed. A longing for home that had finally been requited.

    I spent the next several months engaging with this paradise. Swimming in her streams, catching crabs, climbing her trees, eating her fruits, and spending nights lying on the grass staring at the beautiful night sky.

    This experience had installed in me a deep reverence for and staunch obsession that has haunted me since that day forward. An almost constant need to experience the deepest wonders and untouched beauties of Nature.

    About a decade later I find myself in an urban landscape of Westchester, NY staring at a tree that was settled in a 4×4 foot square of earth cut into the concrete. This was the abode given to the solitary tree. Amidst the cars engines, exhaust smoke, and electric cables, the tree reached high for the sky, not having a care about any imposed limits on it. It would continue to reach forth and grow, navigating its way around obstacles and fulfilling its sacred duty to life. I stared at this tree through the window of a Chinese restaurant and drifted off into a trance. I saw the roots it had formed deep into the ground and noted the symmetrical resemblance it had with the branches above. The Upper and Lower worlds were perfect reflections of each other. The branching pattern of the tree’s crown, against the backdrop of the sky revealed the patterning of blood vessels, capillaries, lung bronchioles, rivers, and streams. The implications of this “co-incidence” were immense. At that moment I was struck with the feeling that a deep truth had stumbled across me.

    Fractals are patterns that repeat themselves at different scales. The seashell spiral repeating itself on the meteorological scale of hurricanes. The iridescent pattern of the iris repeating itself on the cosmic level of a supernova blast. These are examples of micro patterns repeating themselves at macro scales. When we look at fractals, there is an invitation into the mysteries of The Universe. When a person looks at fractals there is a measurable change in their level of electrical skin conductance. Brain scans of people looking at fractal patterns shows an activation of the parahippocampus, a section of the brain responsible for emotional processing and memory retrieval. EEG readings of the brain while looking at fractal patterns shows a shift to alpha brain wave patterns which is associated with a state of alert meditation. All these facts point to the deep physiologic relationship our bodies and psyches have with the fractal patterns expressed by Nature. Nature speaks, our bodies and spirit respond.

    ‘The Eye of God’ Hubble Space Telescope image of a dying star.

    My first interaction with raw Nature in the countryside of Hispañola was revealing tons of fractal patterns to me in the branching of the jungle canopy, the mountain ridge lines, the twisting of vines, and those were not just any fractals. They were the same patterning of fractals that my ancestors looked at. The signal embedding “home” was strong here. I believe all of us have this connection with the land for at one point or another, our ancestors found their home amongst the trees. It is a primordial memory awakened by geometry. A primitive impulse elicited by visual spectra.

    Las Cuchillas, El Seibo, Dominican Republic

    The urban environments of cubed structures, right angle intersections and repetitive stacking of identical units, creates a dissonance from the fluid shapes, curved lines, and gradual scaling of Nature’s anatomy. The urban environments were built from a mentality that worked against Nature. The geometry expresses this, evoking a sense of rigidity, confinement, and fatality. But, people are responding.

    Urban landscapes have begun to appear greener than ever before. A drive down the West Side Highway of Manhattan reveals a Google headquarters with terraced facades draped in plant life, giving us a view of what the future of urban landscaping is to become. The architect, Rick Cook, an avid proponent of “Biophilic” design, which is “…about so much more than plants in the workplace. It’s about a different theory of how to make people feel healthy, lower cortisol levels, and feel connected to a larger system of life.”

    Front Facade of Google Headquarters, New York, NY

    In addition to architectural design elements, there is also novelty being created in the very materials being used for construction. The Myco Brick is such an example. A brick formed by fungal mycelium and organic matter that can be molded into any shape. Once dried, it becomes a water-proof, fire-resistant, mold-resistant material that can be used for construction.

    Hy-Fi in Queens, NY, Example of a Myco Brick structure

    The system of machines, industry, and corporatocracy has created fiefdoms of concrete and steel based on Euclidian geometry. However, we feel a new dawn of humanity peering over the Horizon. A new order of aesthetics and a reprioritization that replaces Life and Beauty to its rightful space. The dandelion growing through the crack in the concrete is testament to how the presence of our structures are temporary but Mother Nature is everlasting. The Earth is calling us forth to incorporate our ‘modern’ lives with the wisdom of Nature. The wild untouched Nature of rolling mountains and far out Savannahs will always be, but now we have an invitation to bring her into our homes and learn from her design.

    The presence of Nature in our lives is not just a fad but a very real necessity that will save our lives, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

    The Author: Dr. Marcos Berrios Arredondo, Outdoorsman, Biological Enthusiast, Tree Talker

    Citations:

    1. Florence Williams, Aeon. Why fractals are so soothing. The Atlantic. Jan 26, 2017. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/01/why-fractals-are-so-soothing/514520/
    2. Lach, Eric. Google’s New Manhattan Groundscraper Bets On The Future of The Office. The New Yorker. Mar 5, 2022. https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-local-correspondents/googles-new-manhattan-groundscraper-bets-on-the-future-of-the-office
    3. Fakharany, Nour. Reimagining Work Culture: Google Unveils New York Headquarters at Renovated St. John’s Terminal. Arch Daily. Feb 23, 2024. https://www.archdaily.com/1013671/reimagining-work-culture-googles-new-york-headquarters-at-renovated-st-johns-terminal
    4. Bonnefin, Ilvy. Emerging Materials: Mycelium Brick. Certified Energy. November 18, 2022. https://www.certifiedenergy.com.au/emerging-materials/emerging-materials-mycelium-brick

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  • The MAdman and The Magus

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    Amongst a bustling marketplace there is a man. He stands on a table rambling and pointing to the sky. No one pays him any mind, just enough mind to avoid eye contact and leave a measurable distance of space between him and themselves.

    His eyes glimmer. Not the glimmer of hope, nor the glimmer of excitement. But instead, eyes layered with a sheen of despair. An aura that exudes franticness. A light that does not illumine but instead obfuscates and confounds.

    He continues rambling, speaking to no one person in particular, at least no one that we can see. He speaks of Gods returning to Earth. Of investigative drones emitting radiofrequencies that install apps into our mind controlled by secret government agencies. Of geometric patterns imprinted in the sky that can predict future events.

    The general population of the marketplace continues about their business, whilst in the corner a mysterious man studies the madman and whispers to himself, “he has gone to be with God.” After studying him for a brief period of time, he then goes on. As he enters his lair, he takes off his cape, and sits at his desk. There we see a sky map with pins and strings connecting into intricate shapes with a ledger on the side containing calculations and dates of past and future events. On his wall we see a flying device that has been pierced by a bullet, its electrical circuits and radio transmitters dismantled onto the floor below, a rifle stands on the side. In the corner we see an altar decorated with strategically placed sigils, stones, plants, animal parts, and a single candle lit in the middle.

    We look at this man while he is engaged with the task at hand. Using a compass to measure the degree angles between vectors on his map, and noting each one. He speaks to no one, the voice in his mind guides him as he works and he responds with action. His eyes glimmer, with a clarifying glow of tempered excitement. His aura exudes diligence. He emits a light that confers lucidity.

    This Man is The Magus.

    The Magus and the MAdman receive intel from a common source. Yet, what each one does with that information is what makes the world of difference between the two. The MAdman is stuck. The Magus is flowing. The MAdman takes all his delusions whole-heartedly. The Magus refrains from blind belief and instead makes his home in observation. The MAdman is enclosed by fear, inspissated by anger and becomes dejected. The Magus is enraptured by curiosity, inspired by magic and becomes enlightened.

    The MAdman keeps his head in the Heavens while the Magus keeps his feet affixed to the Earth. The Magus uses the Inspiration from the Heavens to Inseminate the Earth. His duty is to transform the messages of the spirit into tangible action of the physical space. He is an alchemist of the highest degree. This capacity is well exemplified in the First Major Arcana of The TAROT.

    The Magus keeps one hand lifted to The Heavens Above with his wand serving as an antennae. The other hand is kept pointing to The Earth Below, the grounding force that stabilizes the energy received. This balancing act serves to produce a clean and pure signal for the Magus in The Middle; hence, the circuit becomes complete. The Magus stands at the precipice between the two realms, then goes forward with the tools of his trade laid out before him; The Pentacle, The Sword, The Chalice, and The Wand. The four elements from which he can create anything.

    Malidoma Patrice Some, author, ‘Of Water and The Spirit’ tells the story of a young man, in his early twenties that began having difficulties in university. He could not keep up with his schoolwork, his grades suffered, he began missing class. Peers reported him to appear more and more disheveled, aloof, and overall absentiminded. He began spending a lot of time by himself, and whenever he was with others he spoke of non-sensical things in a non-sensical way. He became isolated and depressed and could not maintain his life at university, so he returned home to live with his parents.

    His parents could barely recognize this new person. What had happened to their son? The allopathic doctors offered a diagnosis of schizophrenia and suggested to begin him immediately on a regimen of antipsychotic medications. The parents decided instead to seek a second opinion. They met the African Medicine Man, Malidoma, who offered a different suggestion.

    “Let your son come with me, back to my community in Burkina Faso, there we will train him to be a medicine man.”

    The parents didn’t quite understand. A medicine man? He cannot even stay in university and take care of his life?

    The medicine man explained:

    “This is a sickness that affects people who are being called into the spirit world. These are the people that work with the spirits and serve as mediums between between both worlds. In our society we know this, in your society you do not understand this.”

    The parents decided this would be better than subjugating their son to a life of pharmacological stupor, so they let their son go to a new continent with this man.

    Over the next several months the young man was immersed in a world of magic, initiation, ritual, spirits, and medicine. Within a short period of time his exasperating symptoms were reduced and refined until they became something else entirely, they became his superpower. He learned how to use divination systems and apply his senses to making medicines guided by the spirit. He became immersed in a new world with other people like him that could share in his reality. He was happy, content, and thriving. The seemingly uncontrollable and incomprehensible stimulation he was experiencing in the western world now had an outlet of expression in this new world that welcomed his talents. His parents came to visit him and were gratefully shocked at the transformation their son had experienced. When they brought up the topic of returning home, the son said, “This is my home.”

    He was given the proper container to explore his subjective experiences, the “hallucinations”, the “delusions”, all had a place for him here. There was a system in place, a traditional spiritual system, developed over millennia through generations of medicine men and women. These systems allowed him to transmit his Heavenly inspirations into the Earth. He learned that his hallucinations and delusions were real signs calling forth into a deeper truth he had to delve into in order to return with something of substance for himself and his community. The key difference here is that, he was not made a pariah by society at large but instead, welcomed as a man of the spirit world that had an important role to play for all of humanity.

    For all eternity, this has been the calling of the healer, the shaman, the medicine man or woman. It is a calling that all of us, at this time, are receiving. It seems like all around this there are either pockets of madness or medicine. Madness is spreading at an all time high, but with that Medicine is also creeping into the fabric of all our experiences. It’s the homeodynamic play of the Universe, Call and Response, Action and Re-Action…the Cosmic Echo.

    I sit in amazement witnessing all that has become of the psychiatric system of medicine in the Western World. Human beings are subjugated to inhumane treatment from the institutions and society at large. This process of societal exile – in and of itself – is a huge risk factor for depression and psychosis. What if these MAd men and women were the saviors of the very madness that they exhibit? The saviors crucified by our ignorance.

    Because of this suppression, we all must stand and suffer the madness.

    We all have a role to play. Do you want to be the MAdman or the Magus?

    Are you going to let yourself fall for all the delusions and illusions that society is selling you? Are you going to let fear rule your choices?

    Or…Are you going to step into your true power? Are you going to be the captain of your senses, the curator of your experiences, the manager of your emotions? Are you going to fall for the lies they have told you about your gifts? Are you going to squander the larger than life reality that exists right beyond your fingertips for a bland narrative of oppression, fear, and scarcity?

    No, you are not going to do that, you know better.

    Learn Your Medicine.

    Own Your Magic.

    About The Author: Marcos Berrios Arredondo – Iberian/Congo/Taino Ancestry, Anatomist, Medical Doctor, Curandero, Apprentice Witch Doctor, Herbalist

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  • The Skin Microbiome

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    I do not wash my body with soap.

    Some of you may have had a visceral reaction of disgust when you read that statement.

    I have practiced this for years now.

    And no, my close friends, family, and my wife can attest to the fact – I do not smell like a feral homeless man.

    Keep your uninformed biases to yourself.

    Soap is harsh. Soap is a detergent. A detergent is designed to grab lipid molecules, the stuff that makes up all fats, grease, and last but not least – cell membranes. Yes, cell-membranes of bacteria and other microscopic beings of the like. Grab them and pop them open.

    Well I don’t know about you, but the bacteria on my skin. They’re my friends.

    They’re my epidermal custodians.

    Nothing gets past my skin barrier unless they know about it; and these bacteria have a vested interest in keeping me alive.

    I give them a home, three square meals a day, and a comfortable environment of oils, salts, and keratin for them to live their best lives. Do you think I would fuck that up for them?

    Genomic sequencing of samples taken from the skin of adults from different areas reveal colonization with species of the bacterial genera: Propionibacterium, Corynebacterium, Streptococcus, Micrococcus, Staphylococcus, Veillonella, Enhydrobacter; and fungi genera: Malassezia, Aspergillus, Candida, Zymoseptoria, Epidermophyton, Pyramimonas, Nannizzia, Parachlorella, Tilletia, Nephroselmis, Cyanophora, Aureoumbra, Pyconococcus, Gracilaria, Leucocytozoon, Trichophyton – just to name a few.

    There is a party going on the surface of your skin all the time. Don’t be a party pooper.

    Microbes are a chatty bunch. They are constantly sending out and receiving messages to and from everything in their environment. Including you. They are constantly sending and receiving messages to and from you. Just as they are constantly sending and receiving messages to and from each other.

    Some of those really nasty bacteria, actually respond respectfully when a member of their own genus is talking to them. There is a strain of Staphylococcus epidermidis that secretes a serine protease glutamyl endopeptidase protein called GluSE that prevents Staphylococcus aureus (the villain of the infamous Staph infection) from forming a biofilm and adhering to your epithelia [1]. They are two guys, descendants of the same clan hero, just different villages. When the violent one starts to get a bit out of hand, the more peaceful one reminds him to chill out. Reminds him that this is not the place for all that. Microbes are used to living in community. Stop blowing up their community everyday, for no reason.

    Another example of this is Staphylococcus lugdunensis inhibiting the growth of the S. aureus via the production of a peptide antibiotic coupled to a thiazolidine ring, aptly named lugdunin [1].

    The coolest part about this discovery is that, when you continue to expose the S. aureus to these “antibiotics” produced by their friends, they don’t even try to develop a workaround for it. I.e. they don’t develop resistance to it the same way they do to man-made antibiotics. They accept the message and don’t fight against it. Therefore I can’t even call these proteins “anti-biotics.” If anything they should be simply called bacterial regulators, (reg-biotics?).

    But wait, wait. There’s more.

    Multiple different species of Staphylococcus produce reg-biotics that WORK WITH human epidermal skin cells by creating a synergistic bond with the human protein – cathelicidin antimicrobial peptide LL-37 [1]. This bond creates a super reg-biotic that inhibits the growth of the nasty type of S. aureus. If they evolved with us, why wouldn’t this be the case? Bacteria have learned to read you and work with you long before you even knew they existed.

    Our Ancient Medicine Man traditions share stories of tiny beings, not visible to the naked eye, that are part of families that inhabit specific areas in nature. One set of families live in the ocean water, others in the swamp water, others in the soil, others associated with certain animals or insects. This was well before the advent of the microscopic lens by Leeuwenhoek or Dr. Lister and the Germ Theory. These tiny beings are able to heal or cause sickness depending on how you mix them with other constituents or the type of environment you place them in. Yes, Medicine Men of indigenous peoples around the globe have practiced microbiology long before there was a syllabus for it in Cambridge.

    Several skin conditions have been associated with altered skin microbiomes. Acne is well known for this association. Eczema is very common to have this alteration also, but very few people with eczema know of this association. Eczema is associated with a much higher colonization of S. aureus, especially during flares [1]. So now the question is one of the chicken or the egg. Who came first? The Staph or the eczema? There is not enough evidence to say. What we do know, however, is that infants that develop eczema by one year of age have a much smaller rate of S. aureus exposure at two months then children who do not develop eczema [1]. This at least provides some evidence to say that proper exposure to natural environmental bacteria, early in life, prepares the immune system and host microbiome to regulate those bad actors later in life. In other words, if you want to protect your child from bad things, it’s a good idea to expose them to some bad things.

    Let your children – and yourself for that matter – roll in dirt. Not the NYC park dirt that has used condoms, glass, and heroin needles in it. No, I’m talking about the good wholesome country soil that has worms in it. Or the wild untamed soil of a deep forest with beetles in it. That kind of dirt.

    The soil also has its own microbiome. The soil is the skin of Mama Gaia. What makes you think her skin and your skin shouldn’t mix?

    Animals choose to roll in dirt all the time. They’re smart.

    Now you may ask. What about smell? What about it? When was the last time you smelled like a happy, healthy human being? Not perfumed and cologned up, but really smelled like an actual man or woman. Smell is a communication tool just like sight, sound, touch, and taste. Your body odor is how the body communicates to you what is going on inside. The skin is always trying to give you a report of the state of your internal organs. But instead, most people go on in their unconscious ways. Slathering their body with toxic lotions, a shampoo with one fragrance, a body soap with another fragrance, fragrance in the laundry detergent, and to top it all off even more fragrance sprayed all over yourself from a fancy $120 bottle of horseshit. At the end, what are you trying to smell like? Do you want to smell like herbs and flowers? Go buy some fucking herbs and flowers. Make a bath with them and rub yourself with that. I guarantee you will smell 10 times better than that caustic odiferous concoction you call perfume.

    I can smell the meat that I eat in my armpits.

    Men, can smell the vileness in a woman when she opens her legs.

    A healthy woman has a healthy smelling yoni.

    A healthy man has a healthy smelling grajo.

    Smelly feet are another one. Feet should not smell bad.

    Walk Barefoot. In The Dirt.

    Stop using all soaps and fragrance. During the first week, your body will overproduce oils because it is in a default state of constantly trying to replace everything you keep washing off. Let it do it’s thing, get oily and nasty for that week. Keep rinsing yourself down everyday, two to three times a day as needed. Let the skin normalize. Then smell yourself, and ask honest people to smell you too. Note where there are foul odors emanating from. Close your eyes as you smell and ask yourself: Where did that smell come from? Is it that poorly digested pork chop that got backed up behind the cheesecake and the doritos?

    Experiment with your diet and lifestyle and notice how your smell will change. Better yet, start to notice the difference in your skin quality and feel. You won’t need as much moisturizer anymore. Any small infections, abscesses, or reactions you used to have will now disappear. When you go out into nature, fewer bugs will bite you. They can identify you as a human being – not a lollipop.

    Sources:

    1. Byrd AL, Belkaid Y, Segre JA. The human skin microbiome. Nature Reviews Microbiology. Vol 16; Mar 2018; pgs 143-155. doi: 10.1038/nrmicro.2017.157

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  • Solar Eclipse Astronology: Meanings and Musings

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    The word is that solar eclipses happen every twenty or so years. This means the last one I would have experienced in my lifetime was probably around 12 years of age. I don’t remember any such craze as I have seen with this solar eclipse. Then again I was a child so maybe I just wasn’t aware.

    The craze around this solar eclipse however, is not odd. Given the shift in planetary consciousness that we are experiencing, more and more people are turning their attention towards the stars, towards the profound, towards the mystical. It is a great time to live in, and still many people are refusing this pull towards a more spiritually oriented way of being. This is understandable, since change is uncomfortable; yet it is still inevitable.

    There have been many theories as to what the solar eclipse means. Some religious folk claim it is the sign of the “end times.” This is a myopic view that fails to understand that nothing truly, ever, ends; at least not in the grand sense of the word. At the more minuscule sense of the word, things end, only because we cannot perceive – or are unwilling to accept – what comes after.

    Some others claim that this will herald in the arrival of the aliens, or a portal opening to an alternate dimension. In case you haven’t realized. The aliens have already arrived and portals to alternate dimensions open every day.

    I am of the belief that most things in our perceived universe simply mean whatever we allow them to mean. Life itself is meaningless, unless you attach meaning to it. The natural phenomenon in our Universe are no less subject to that rule. Therefore, I have chosen, to lead a life that believes in the animation of all objects, both physical and non-physical. This is an ancient perspective, that is referred to as ‘animism’ in modern times. A word used to denote the customary beliefs of most indigenous peoples around the world.

    I have chosen this belief because it brings me into deeper connection with all things around me, which I see as a benefit. I feel in my heart that this belief is good for me. In addition, my questioning mind is satiated by the scientific proof that supports this belief as a plausible notion. The scientific evidence yielded by quantum physics revealing that all material, changes behavior in response to conscious perception, tells me that all atoms – including their subatomic parts – are conscious, living, beings. We are, and live within, fractal units of consciousness.

    This being the case, the earth, moon, and sun are also, conscious entities. These beings have a dedicated task, of maintaining a specific cycle of rotations and revolutions through three dimensional space in order to manifest the process of time. The earth, moon, and sun come into approximate alignment every month with the coming of the new moon. They set into perfect alignment during solar or lunar eclipses.

    If we want to study meaning of natural phenomenon we must look into the universal language – symbology. It took me a long time to grasp what was meant by symbology as language. With time, and practice, of exiting my main mode of thinking in words and instead replacing with feeling and raw sensory perception, I was able to start to grasp the intelligence behind symbology.

    Let’s look at the symbology of the Sun. The Sun brings us light and warmth. Both things necessary for sustaining Life. During the light hours are when most perceptible beings are active and working. The Sun allows us to see far. The sun is that planetary unit of consciousness that allows us to go outside and have something to experience day to day. Plants and other people, but, it blocks almost everything that lies beyond it. When the sun makes its appearance, it dominates the sky. It shines so bright, and so hard, that no other stars can be seen beyond it. It takes center stage, “all eyes on me.”

    If we refer to the Hermetic principle of , “As Above So Below” it teaches us about this fractal nature of consciousness. This fractal nature of consciousness shows how the macro-universe is a reflection of our micro-youniverse. Our planetary system is a unit of consciousness that reflects the nature of the beings that inhabit it. Each of the planets, and each of the sentient beings that inhabit these planets are reflections of the macro structure. Therefore, there is a Sun within each of us, both physically and spiritually. The best way to grasp the quasi physical-spiritual nature of this Sun quality within us is by studying our psyches.

    There is that part of our nature that can nurture everything around us, it can shine light on problems both for ourselves and for others. It is big, it is noticeable, you might forget it’s there but you will certainly not forget about it if it suddenly disappears. All the other planets in our nature revolve around this one aspect. It takes center stage, but participates in a give-receive relationship with all these planets. “You watch me and I will watch you.” This is what the sun says to each planet, and because the Sun is steady, always on time, always predictable. The planets yield to its power and accept its offering of Life and Light.

    Because of this symbology, western astrologers and alchemists have likened the Sun to being The Ego or the Outward Personality of the Self. In an age where ego has become such a bad word, it is prudent upon us to study the Sun in order to come to a better understanding of what ego really is and how it can be healthy when harmonized with the rest of our planetary system. Notice, the sun does not stay in our face forever, it disappears for a while everyday to allow us some rest from its fire. Notice that it does not demand every planet to stick to a specific position, or for each planet to come as close to it as possible. It treats every planet according to its needs and nature. The sun moves, and simply for it being the powerful star that it is, the planets are compelled to move with it.

    The Moon. The lantern of our night sky. Our guide in the darkness, for most, but not all of the lunar cycle. For several days a month it leaves us in the dark while we block the sun rays from reaching its surface. When our material needs block the ego from influencing our subconscious wishes, then we can truly go into the dark. The night time, a time for deep reflection, also a time for treachery, where evil deeds can go unnoticed, straying from the beaming eyes of the all seeing sun. The moon witnesses us when our ego is gone. When we are “defenseless.” When we are that being that exists when there is nothing to give, only to receive. This can be a vulnerable spot, and difficult to navigate, but not impossible. We still have the night stars in the sky. Beings that we did not know were there when the Sun was around. But now that the Sun has gone, wow, all those beings, watching over us, that we did not even know were there. And wow, pay attention, the longer you look at them, the more appear. Seek and ye shall find. The Moon brings forth messages from the subconscious. Messages of mystery rooted from intuition.

    Notice that the moon periodically enters the Sun’s domain, but the Sun never interferes with the Moon’s domain. If the Sun were to enter the moon’s domain, night would simply cease. It does not work the other way around. When the Moon enters into the territory of the day light sky, I see that as the moon asking to be heard. When the Moon comes and blocks the sunlight right in the middle of it doing it’s job, it is not suggesting to be heard, it is demanding to be heard.

    What is the Moon telling us? Put down your outward personality for just one second. I know it’s time for work and doing the thing that makes you who you are, but just pause for one second and take a look at me. Remember that I also have the power to stop everything. What are you giving your time and attention to? Is that who you really are? Who Are You?

    The Sun allows the Moon center stage to speak for a period of time. We should all Listen.

    In conjunction with the rest of the planetary bodies visible during this eclipse. We can gather a larger meaning from the message. Something that perhaps can show us where we have been and where we are going.

    We can mark the precession of the equinoxes by looking at the constellation in which the sun rises at the beginning of the year – the spring equinox. We are currently reaching the end of the Pisces constellation, slowly moving into Aquarius. Using this direction, from East to West, from Aries to Pisces to Aquarius, we track the planets positions during the eclipse.

    Uranus was the most eastward planet lying in Aries. Uranus is cold and windy, with 13 rings and 28 moons. It spins on an axis that is oriented approximately 90 degrees relative to its revolution around the sun. It does not follow the norm, and for this reason the planet Uranus is said to represent eccentricity, rebellion, and overall thinking that is outside the box. Placing this planet in Aries, the “I Am” sign, signals a bold declaration of and claim to your eccentricity and unconventional ideas.

    West of Uranus we find Jupiter, also lying in Aries. Jupiter is a large gaseous planet with volatile storms and high pressures that are constantly creating new materials. It is the biggest planet in our system, 11 times larger than the Earth and claiming a wealth of 95 moons. It spins on an axis only 3 degrees off its plane of revolution. This planet represents expansion, new creation, and abundance. It asks us to be confident in ourselves, trusting in the plentiful resources the universe has to offer us. The placement of this planet in the sign of Aries is another claim to step boldly forward in that which identifies you as truly you. The Core of Your Being.

    Next in line we have the planet Mercury. The messenger of the Gods. It is the smallest and fastest moving planet. With a slow rotation of 59 earth days but a fast revolution of 88 earth days. It experiences both very hot and very cold temperatures ranging from 800 to -290 degrees Fahrenheit. It has no rings and claims no moons for these would slow it down, it is solely concerned with the transmission of information. On this ecliptic sky, Mercury was lying directly above the solar eclipse, on the same line of 235 degrees, only slightly higher in altitude by 6 degrees. This shows Mercury being extremely active in conjunction with the energy of the solar eclipse. Being the planet concerned with intellect, communication, and mind, its placement in Pisces above the eclipse is calling us to pay attention to the signs. It is asking us to apply intellect to the mystical depths of our own waters. Use the mind of a scholar and the body of a fish to swim deep and rise back to the surface with a clear communication of what you have witnessed.

    Chiron the asteroid, lies directly west of the solar eclipse. The wounded healer observes and tells us there is medicine to be found inside this dynamic of Piscean-Ecliptic energy.

    Venus is next, still within the large Pisces constellation. She is the hottest planet in our system and the brightest in our night sky. It is no wonder the old Europeans named her after their most beloved goddess. Her days are almost as long, if not longer, than her years. She asks us to live in the presence of our sensations. To appreciate the beauty and luster of life. She has been associated with art, love, relationships, and harmony. While digging into the transformative power of the solar eclipse, pay attention to those sensations that bring harmony to you. What do they mean for you in the backdrop of the two fish?

    Next is Neptune, the trident, the god of the sea, sitting in his throne of Pisces directly west of the goddess. Neptune is extremely dense, composed of gas, liquid, and ice. Whether the liquid is hot or cold, or if there is ice or just a small block of rock is still up for debate. The planet is covered in thick gas. It has five rings with 16 moons. It is symbolically associated with deep mystical intuition and the dreamscape. Together with the other planets in Pisces, Neptune being the ruler, we see there is a grander message about the Piscean energy that is important here. The eclipse of sun and moon, mercury sitting on top, chiron on the side, with venus and neptune sitting below. The spirit of the medicine man (chiron) is watching over you, mercury is asking you to take the challenge to extinguish that which you thought you were for that which you really are. Tune into the harmony and beauty present in your deep intuition and dreams and you will find the key.

    We now end the cycle with the two last planets above the horizon. Saturn and Mars. Saturn is the famous ringed planet and also the infamous malefic of astrology. The rings represent the constraint it places upon us, it makes limitations aware to us, makes them real. Traditionally touted as a bad thing, but it is actually a great thing. If we don’t know where our limitations lie, then how can we cross them? How can we push them? Limitations challenge us to grow. Only a victimized mentality looks at limitations as something to be concerned about. This is now where the Mars energy comes into play. Mars represents conflict but also pure determination and will with a driving passion to fuel it. These two planets lie 1 degree off each other in near conjunct. Together, they are sending a clear message through the sign of Aquarius. There is a deeply humanistic and inventive future lying ahead of you but it can only be yours through courage and application with persistence. Through all obstacles that may present themselves, push forward forthrightly in a state of default aggression. Discipline is Key.

    Notice, I make all these interpretations of symbology based on the way I perceive it. This message is for me, not for you. However, because we both come from the same source, and we both bleed the same blood, it would not be odd if this message also applied to you. This is how symbology both universalizes and distinguishes each human experience.

    So no, there was no cataclysmic event (at least not yet). No one was raptured into the sky (at least not that we know of). But the collective conscious of North America paid enough attention to receive a message that will have its ripple effects.

    The planets cast spells on the psyches of those that choose to pay attention.

    And even if you don’t pay attention, the moon will still make the tides rise.

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  • Us Men…

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    A few months ago I dropped out of medical residency. It was not a well though out plan, more so a chronic bubbling of uneasiness that was waiting to spill over at any given moment. The moment came like a lightning bolt. As I was walking into the hospital at 4am I stopped dead in my tracks, paralyzed as the automatic doors opened for me. I turned back around, walked the block several times trying to talk myself into going into the hospital. “It’s just another day at work.”

    I came up to the door again, stopped, and stared…

    Turned back around, got in my car, and drove back home in a daze.

    I called the residency director and told him I quit. My life changed completely from one day to the next. I had no direct recourse of action so needless to say this was just as anxiety provoking as it was liberating.

    While figuring out exactly what I was going to do next, I knew I had to engage in an activity that would keep me sane throughout this process. So, I did what I have always done when life gets hard. I laced up my old ragged pair of black Asics and hit the pavement everyday. I never knew where I was going nor how far it would be, and I did not care. I simply ran till my legs trembled.

    One day I end up running by the ocean boardwalk. In the distance I hear a pair of drums rattling away. It was like a signal calling me from a distance. As I got closer it got louder until I could see it’s source. A man sitting on a bench, enraptured with a pair of bongos.

    His hands, arms, and shoulders moved fluidly, precisely, and rapidly while his body gently swayed with the rhythm. His eyes were closed as he spoke with the ocean. She responded, crashing her waves into the rocks on shore, celebrating each emphatic strike of the animal skins that resounded over her liquid surface. His eyes were closed but he was fully aware.

    My cadence slowed, the sun beamed on me, sweat trickled down my back as I studied this figure before me. He was an older gentleman with a full head of white hair neatly combed back. A full white goatee with a posture that radiated strength. I stopped, not daring to interrupt this séance. I sat on the floor in front of him and watched. He continued rattling away.

    The ocean then calmed her waters as he gently decreased his tempo, softened his strikes, and eventually came to a close. He opened his eyes and immediately met mine, piercing directly into my soul, speaking without words, “what do ye seek?”

    I wasn’t sure what to say but knew I had to say something. Words blurted out of my mouth, “My father passed away when I was young, he was a salsa player and taught me to play the drums, but I haven’t touched them since he died.” His gaze softened and he motioned me forth. I got up off the floor and stood before him.

    With a thick Brooklyn-Italian accent he asks, “Have you ever played The Bongos before?”

    “Never” I respond.

    He motioned me to sit next to him. I took a seat. He demonstrated how to position The Bongos properly between my legs “place the metal pegs right behind your knees like this.” Taught me the proper manner in which to strike them, and then demonstrated a simple pattern for me to follow.

    I did as he instructed, insecure as other people walked by and stared. I looked straight ahead but I could feel him next to me, observing me very, very closely. Nonetheless I continued, loosened up, and then found my groove.

    He then tells me, “You know what? I think you got something kid.”

    “You think so?”

    “Yeah, absolutely. Do you really want to learn to play The Bongos?”

    “I do.”

    “You serious?”

    “I am.”

    “Meet me here next week at 11am.”

    “I’ll be here.”

    Next week comes and I excitedly run down the boardwalk towards the bench I found him at last time. I left my house early so I could get there early to show him I was serious. He was already sitting on the bench waiting for me.

    “How you doin’ Marcos, it’s nice to see you.”

    “Nice to see you too sir.”

    There was an extra pair of Bongos on the bench sitting next to him, “Go ahead and get comfortable with those,” he says.

    I set myself up. He puts an old school Latin record on his Bluetooth speaker and we start playing together. I felt like I was cramping his style with my clumsy attempts to fill in, so I just stuck to a very simple beat that was hard to mess up. Clumsy fills or not, he continued unperturbed.

    After warming up with a few songs, we then got into the lesson:

    “Sit up straight, don’t slouch. The Bongos are a masculine instrument, you need to assert yourself with dominance.”

    “The Bongos are the Spirit of the band and you as the Bongocero can make or break the song depending on where your head is at, don’t get into arguments with anybody before you play.”

    “Don’t play the skins with a weak hand, hit it, hit it with intention, show that you are sure of what you are doing.”

    “This side is the Macho and this is the Hembra, the Masculine and the Feminine, The Bongo brings them together to create the Universe.”

    “This is the Spaniard and this is the African, The Bongo is the expression of the Mulatto.”

    He taught me the basic Martillo, “this is the horse trotting, can you hear it? Every once in a while the horse does a little trick.” [Rapid fire.]

    I hung to every word he said and quickly realized this was more than just a drum lesson. It was a lesson on Life. I was in the presence of a true elder who was imparting to me the blessing of his time, wisdom, and attention.

    At the end of the lesson, he puts The Bongos in a case and hands them over to me, “these are yours.” I didn’t expect that, he asked nothing from me except my dedication. Now I had to get good, there was no excuse. “Practice for at least 30 minutes a day, you think you can do that?”

    “Yes, I can.”

    “Good. You did good today. If you keep practicing you’re going to be amazing, keep at it.”

    I went home and started practicing immediately. Watching all the videos he shared with me, playing to all the songs he gave me, drilling all the techniques he showed me, over and over again.

    Over the next several months we continued with our lessons. He eventually invited me to his home and showed me his collection of instruments. He had congas, bells, guiros, cajons, and claves to spare. We would sit in his small apartment drinking Bustello, cracking jokes, telling stories and smacking drums, driving his neighbors mad. I invited him to my home, introduced him to my family and friends.

    There were many times when he would speak and I would have to sit and listen attentively. He would impart on me codes of ethics, on how to be a man. Not the cheesy, watered-down, codes of ethics we hear from mainstream society. No, he would share codes that spoke to a deep part of my soul, old school codes. Codes that have been passed down from great grandfathers since time immemorial. Codes that have since been lost to carelessness, weakness, and lack of honor. He would pull an embroidered white cloth out of his left back pocket “This handkerchief is for your lady.” Then pull a red bandana from his right pocket, “this one is for your enemies.” I understood.

    I began to change the way I saw myself, my role as a father and a husband, the standards for myself and those around me grew. I thought I knew what it meant to be a man, but he showed me there was so much more for me to learn.

    This train of thought eventually led me to realize that I had to cut off all my addictions. I had been struggling with cannabis, tobacco, and alcohol since my teenage years. I had managed to get their usage down to an all time low, convincing myself that it was okay as long as I kept it “in moderation.” I was lying to myself, and I knew it. I had enough. I wanted to reach the next stage in my life and be a better man for myself and my family. I was sick of it, so I quit everything cold-turkey.

    For anyone that has gone through this process, you are familiar with the sleepless nights and uncomfortable emotions that arise to the surface. Emotions that you have not faced in years. I was struggling on one of those sleepless nights trying to make sense of my life. It was 3 am and I was tired of staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning, perseverating on negative thoughts, so I decided to just get up and do something. I got in the car with my Bongos in the passenger seat and drove down to the boardwalk.

    I got out of my car, walked down the boardwalk and sat on the bench we met on. I got the urge to call him, but hesitated, thinking I didn’t want to bother him. I wasn’t even sure of what I wanted to say to him, so I decided to just invite him to come play drums with me. He was a sporadic sleeper so I knew there was a good chance he would be awake.

    I called. He picked up the phone, “Hey Marcos, what’s goin’ on.”

    We talked for a bit, catching up, and then he intentionally asked, “Marcos, how are you?”

    I paused for a second, then responded “I’m alright.”

    He was silent, then said, “I know that when a man says he’s alright, he is not okay.”

    He got me…I started venting…He listened…

    I told him about my tumultuous relationship with my stepson. Explained that I have two of my own kids that I am struggling to support financially, wrecked my health with poor habits for more than a decade, anxiety is getting the best of me, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life at the age of 31, I should have it figured out by now. I told him that I couldn’t be mad at anyone for any of it, that it was all my fault, I should have known better, I did know better, I just didn’t listen to my instincts, I just always gave way to instant gratification, or other peoples wishes, why was I so stupid, why was I…

    He interrupted me right in the middle of my emotional crescendo:

    “No Marcos. Don’t put that all on yourself, you didn’t have guidance.

    A lot of us didn’t have guidance growing up as Latin Men.

    What’s the first thing you told me when you met me? That you didn’t have a father.

    I will never forget that.

    Well, we’re here now,

    and I’m here to be what your father would have been for you.

    Us men, we need to do that for each other.”

    Tears began rolling down my face.

    “Go home and comb your hair.

    Put on nice clothes.

    Remember I always tell you Marcos,

    appearance is important.

    Be militant.

    The private doesn’t do what the sergeant does.

    The sergeant doesn’t do what the general does.

    The drill instructor wakes up before everyone else to wake them up.

    Be the drill instructor.”

    “Thank you.” I whispered.

    I went home and did exactly as he said.

    I spent the rest of the early day thinking about my father. The lack of guidance that he had which contributed to his early demise which as a result left me without guidance. I cried in the shower, mourning all the wasted years of error, misfortune, and violence due to this lack of guidance. Not just for me, but for all of us, for all the men I know, both friends and enemies.

    “Us men, we need to do that for each other.”

    His words reverberated in my mind.

    I feel grateful and blessed to have this man in my life.

    Someone that I could look up to.

    Someone that could teach me how to guide another man like me.

    “Us men, we need to do that for each other.”

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  • I had a few drinks last night…

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    I had a few drinks last night and stayed up till about 2am, eating jerk chicken and re-watching episodes of ‘Breaking Bad’. When that 5 am alarm went off, I was not with it. Fuck it, snoozed for another hour…

    6 am alarm went off, still not with it, but fuck it let’s do it, no time to waste. I sluggishly withdrew my dehydrated body off the bed and went straight for that cool, heavenly, aquatic essence that opened up my soul as soon as it cradled itself onto my parched tongue. Got the coffee pot going. Relieved myself as the first order of business of any day. Then I knew what I needed to do. Go for a run.

    “Fuck, really? Run? Now?”

    “Yes nigga. Run. NOW.”

    “Dude it’s cold out there.”

    “Wear a jacket.”

    “But like, the air is cold, and what if I get sick. No, no, no. It’s probably better to do it later, once the sun is up and the air is a little warmer and all that.”

    “-_- … You’re not going to get sick, pussy.”

    “Okay but, I’m really dehydrated from last night, soo, I don’t…”

    “Drink water.”

    “But…”

    “NOW!”

    “Ugghh…Fine.”

    I put my clothes on and tied my sneakers with all the enthusiasm of the most dejected office clerk. Grabbed my keys, opened the door, went down the stairs. Step, by step, by step. Literally just, going…through…the motions.

    I got to the track and reluctantly got it popping. One lap turned into two, two into three, three into four, etc. etc. Okay this is not so fucking bad. Hit the park, finished my workout. Now I’m feeling fucking great.

    I start walking home and on the way I find a brown skinned South American woman standing on the sidewalk, looking lost and confused, with a piece of paper and phone in her hand. Instinctively as I walk by her I ask if she needs help. She asks in broken English if I speak Spanish, I gladly respond, “Si.”

    She goes on to explain that she is looking for an address. She just got a job and it’s her first day, but she can’t find the damn place. I look at the address that she was given and realize that she is on the wrong street, a simple error due to the one letter difference in street names. No reason to panic though, this other street is just a few blocks away I explain to her. She tries to pull up the GPS on her phone, but doesn’t know how quite to use it. I kindly ask if I can use her phone to show her. I then pull up the right address, show her the navigation, and give her explicit directions. Make a right here, left after one block, another right after five blocks and you should find it there. She smiles, truly content with the advice she was given, says thank you and hurries away to get to her first day of work on time.

    Of course, I feel good about this encounter, I just helped somebody. But then I wonder, back to a post I wrote a week ago that noted, “Everyone on this planet is connected to everyone else…Everything you do, no matter how small, affects all those around you in ways you can and cannot see…” True indeed I thought. What if I never put my shoes on? What if I let sheer laziness get the best of me and never forced myself to get up this morning and go for that run? Surely, I would have never met this woman. Never had an opportunity to help her get to her first day of work. What if she never made it? Or arrived too late? Could she have lost the job simply because I refused to run? Who knows how many children and family members depend on her, depend on her finding this job. Of course, some would say, “Well, someone else probably would have helped her anyway.” That’s quite a possibility, but it is not a certainty. What is a certainty is that she and I crossed paths, and me deciding to go for that run was critical to us crossing those paths. That is a fact, while the possibility of someone else helping her while I laid in my warm bed is mere speculation. The matter is this, there’s this idea that has been pervading my mind as of late. I realize that the Universe keeps trying to tell me something and I would be a fool to ignore it.

    Doing the best for yourself, no matter how hard, puts you in the proper position to do the best for others. Don’t ever forget. This is not about you.

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  • Speech to: The Students of The Dead

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    In the Spring of 2017 I was invited to deliver the keynote speech at the Anatomical Donor Appreciation Ceremony of Mercy College, my alma mater. This ceremony has been conducted over several years in order to commemorate those persons who have donated their deceased bodies so that students of the health and medical sciences can dissect them and learn from them.

    In the years prior to this speech, I had spent many hours within the confines of the Gross Anatomy lab, dissecting hundreds of cadavers and teaching anatomy to students from several health related disciplines. During these experiences, I learned not just about the structure of the human body, but also had much time to ponder about death, and what it means to be human. I poured my thoughts into this speech and also decided that it was a good time as any to touch upon some occult mysteries that are inexorably tied into human structure and function.

    Greetings fellow academics, students, instructors, and citizens of the world. We are gathered here today to pay special attention to the dozens of lives, that year after year, have gifted us with their cosmic vehicle, so that we may prod, poke, cut, and inspect every corner of it, learn from it, and hopefully apply this knowledge to the betterment of not only our lives but the lives of the many patients that will come across our path. In this process we gain a glimpse of the constant motion of that wheel we call the circle of life. The death of one, to promote the life of another.

    My name is Marcos Berrios Arredondo. I have been afforded the amazing opportunity of studying the art of medicine from the generations of physicians that came before me. I have been afforded the opportunity of studying an art form that is as old as humanity itself and speaks to one of the most primal instincts known to man, the instinct to live.

    Once upon a time I was sitting in the same seat as many students in the audience are today. I was a recent graduate of Westchester Community College and it was my first semester at this school on my way to obtaining a Bachelor of Science. I was eager, I was nervous, but also, very motivated to continue my education in the biological sciences. These studies eventually brought me to the doors of the gross anatomy laboratory. Little did I know that the simple act of crossing the threshold of that door would initiate a series of events that would change my life forever. I did not realize it then, but the space that I stepped foot into was more than just a laboratory, it was more than just a classroom. The space that I stepped foot into was sacred.

    It did not take long for me to become enamored by the complexity of the human form. Not enamored simply for the sake of its complexity, but for the sheer genius behind the functionality and precision that this complexity afforded. This began a process of inquisition and discovery that not only changed how I viewed my own body, but how I viewed my very existence.

    The study of the human body can be taken to be just another task to accomplish on your road to the obtainment of a piece of paper called a degree. Sitting in lecture, going to open labs, dissecting, taking exams, flashcards, notes, audio recordings, drawings, atlases, flashcards, notes, audio recordings, flashcards, notes, and more flashcards, just to pass, if only I can just pass. It is so easy to get bogged down by the day to day routine of a student with all of the demands it makes of us, demands that may sometime seem boring, tedious, or just outright ridiculous, but I implore you to step out of this paradigm for just one moment. I implore you to not allow the day to day grind reduce you into an automaton, another cogwheel in this machine of a system that we have been indoctrinated into. I implore you to make the effort and exert your God-given willpower to change the narrative of your life by simply deciding to see what others do not. To see that going to anatomy class is not simply about memorizing obscure facts that no one may ever ask you again, but to see that to study the human form is to study the very secrets of life, the secrets of the universe around you. This may sound like one of those cliché phrases that are employed to make one’s speech sound profound. One of those phrases that sounds good, and makes you feel warm inside, but you inevitably leave this ceremony without really knowing what the hell it meant. It would be totally irresponsible of me if I let that happen to you, so let me explain what I mean, those who have ears may listen.

    The human body is centered around a beating heart from which five points project out into the universe. An arm, leg, leg, arm and head. This human body with its five points is a projection of your very soul, that goes out into the world walking, eating, laughing, crying, waging war, or making love. This body imposes the will of the soul upon the world, crafting a life that will either serve as a beacon of light for yourself and for others, or a nidus of destruction that will radiate from you like ripples in a pond and touch everything around you, the choice is yours.

    Your hand is composed of a palm, with five points that project out into the universe. These hands are your servants, a smaller version of you, that may either serve to create medicine of healing, or weapons of war, the choice is yours. Is it a mere coincidence that to take a pledge, a pact that means to align internal will with external act, is symbolized by the placing of one’s palm onto their heart? Play with the geometries of the five points and you will find mathematical proofs to the grand design behind human architecture. A grand design that ties us to the architecture of nature around us.

    In the structure of the limbs of the body we see the manifestation of isomerization, specifically the enantiomeric relationship between the right and left hands or the right and left foot. Any student of chemistry would recognize these terms that describe a very important concept, the concept of two molecules with the same exact empirical formula that are mirror images of one another. Here we get a glimpse into a universal law that can be found throughout all of nature. How atomic patterns, unseen by the naked eye, repeat themselves at the macroscopic level, which can be seen by the naked eye. As below, so above.

    All through the body we find symmetries, two ends of a pole. The very existence of two, the nature of the dipole, the manifestation of the positive and the negative and the reciprocal relationship between them, is the force that underlies the most basic units of the fabric of the universe. Without symmetry, or without opposites, the material world as we know it would not even exist. Where there is an up, there is a down, where the is an East there is a West, where there is a longus there is a brevis. Even with this intuitive understanding that we all have of the dipole we still pay very special homage to the one, or all things singular. It underlies the concept of monotheistic religion, and in the human body we see that those things which come as a singular component have very critical function in our lives and connect us to something larger than ourselves.

    You have only one heart to feel with, you have only one mouth to create with, you have only one pineal gland to see with, you have only one umbilical cord. One umbilical cord through which run two arteries and one vein, three vessels in one cord, the holy trinity as one entity that feeds the fetus and gives life to the next generation. It is no accident that our ancestors envisioned the Creator, the giver of all life, as a Woman. All of our ancient spiritual traditions were inherited through maternal lines and it is no accident that the very unique DNA within our mitochondria is strictly inherited from, our mothers.

    We can apply the law of analogy for days on end and arrive at several conclusions that may shed some light on long held mantras and archetypal concepts that permeate the very core of human experience, tradition, and knowledge. It is not my place, nor is it the time for me to delve further into these. But what I do wish to get across to the student of anatomy is that, the fact that you have five fingers instead of four is not merely an accident of random evolution. The gravest mistake that any student of the natural sciences has ever made is to make the assumption that the universe which surrounds him or her is deaf, dumb, and blind. And these same assumptions are woven into our curriculum, both implicitly and explicitly, stripping the student of any genuine curiosity of the universe around them. How can you ever expect to truly build a relationship with, love, and understand something which you deem to be completely inanimate and unconscious, unliving and dead?

    Now we must ask ourselves, how does this understanding help the student in her day to day endeavor of understanding the human body. Understanding for the application in treating the lives of our future patients? The message that I wish to get across to you today may be best exemplified in a quotation that I will share from an anonymous author:

    “…he who sees the beauty of that which he recognizes as true cannot fail to love it – and in loving it, the element of constraint in the duty prescribed by the true will disappear, duty becomes a delight. It is thus that “work” is transformed into “play” and concentration without effort becomes possible.”

    Make your yoke easy and make your burden light. The weight of this heavy task you bear is made light through appreciation and through love, love of the craft you have dedicated yourself to will make these everyday demands of you so much easier to bear. This love, this appreciation, starts with a clear vision of what it is that you’re really doing, what it is that you’re really seeing. I challenge you to look beyond the veil and transform your work into play.

    Every person who has donated their body to us has done much more than just provide an excellent resource of study. Through their love for humanity, they have gifted us with the very blueprint of the universe. They have granted us the honor of being the caretakers of this blueprint. It is our responsibility to see this gift for what it really is, learn from it, ponder it, and apply these lessons in our everyday life. I’d like to give thanks to the gross anatomy staff for all their planning and inviting me to speak today. I’d like to give special thanks and blessings to any friends and family donors that may be in the audience today. And to all in attendance, I wish you peace, gratitude, and way more than luck. May the Force be with you.

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